Two dead segments (1.2s at 7.2s, 0.9s at 18.1s) total 8.2% dead time. Cutting them tightens the edit and removes two drop-off risk windows. Expected +4.5 composite points.

The reveal at 14.0s (63% of duration) is slightly early. Pushing it to 15.5s+ would strengthen tail retention without feeling padded. Add a brief build-up beat before the reveal.

Hard-stopping at 22.1s gives no reason to rewatch. Either cut the final word mid-syllable, or match the last visual (face, gesture) to the opening frame for a seamless loop.